I've been having some weird dreams having to do with the end of existence as I know it. The theme is the same ... something runs out: electricity or food or gasoline or air or sunlight or whatever. The feeling is the same: hopelessness and anxiety. What I currently have is all I have, I cannot get any more of it, and I can't continue to exist without it. When it runs out, well, that's when I ask the million dollar question: then what? It's like I am too terrified to acknowledge what some people would believe to be the obvious answer. In these dreams, I look around, anxiously and repeatedly asking myself, "What am I going to do?" Usually, there are a few others in my presence who are in the same situation I am. We're all existing and asking each other questions about how to handle our situation. The dreams end there.
It's those kind of dreams that hang with me and make me think. I've seen two movies in the mid-80's in which the storyline was about a community grappling with the aftermath of a nuclear attack. The very things the characters took for granted were gone and would no longer be available in their lifetimes. Both movies ended the same, leaving the viewer with the understanding that there is no happy ending and there will be no happy ending.
Think about it: let's say (for the sake of the argument) something happened to the planet in which electrical current has been neutralized. Planes can't fly, cars can't run, buildings and streets go dark, and refrigerators and freezers have been rendered useless. This same force that neutralized all electricity has also poisoned the soil so nothing can grow.
Now, imagine sitting on your front porch and looking at your neighbors and/or their homes. They are in the same situation you are. You no longer have access to medicine, food, batteries, candles, matches, clothing, blankets, or other supplies you find yourself in need of stocking up on. What you have is ALL you have. You have to make due with that. One day, you're going to run completely out. You won't be able to turn to your neighbors for help because they'll be in the same situation. What's even worse, you might have to defend yourself, your family, and your supplies from thieves who will, in time, become bolder as they become more desperate for supplies.
Unnerving feeling, isn't it? What will you do when you run out of medicine ... candles ... food? You need food and some need medicine to stay alive. Everything you thought would be there is no longer there. Would you become a thief? Would you starve until you died? Would you become a cannibal? Would you terminate your life since you figure you're going to die anyway and want to avoid the pain of starvation? What personal values would you have to compromise to be able to survive? These are the hypothetical ponderings I have to make sense of these dreams.
Last night, I did have one of those dreams again, but this time it ended with some hope. In my dream last night, our "resources" were depleting quickly. We only had a matter of months before the "resources" would be completely gone. It was dark outside because the sun died. I remember wandering through an abandoned home and finding a couple of boxes of cereal, clutched by the hand of a corpse laying on the floor in the kitchen. I found two live children and a teenager hiding in the pantry for safety. Then a guy in his late 20's came in the house. We all talked about the pending situation and decided to travel together. We started walking outside until we got to my house. In reality, we don't have a basement, but in my dream, we had a basement. A strange man had a LARGE aquarium with an air chamber underneath it. Somehow, walking through the air chamber created static electricity, and the strange man was able to collect the charge and use it as a "resource." I remember walking out of the house and looking over the horizon with a feeling of hope and relief because the strange man found a renewable resource that would replace what was depleted. Of all my dreams that follow this theme, this was the first one that ended with hope.
When I was younger, I dreamt that my sister and I were in the living room with our parents. My sister and I were to be placed on the shuttle, and she and I were protesting it for reasons I don't remember other than we didn't want to go. Mom yelled at and argued at us; she would not relinquish her plans nor her decision. Suddenly, my sister and I are in the shuttle, and I remember looking down at the planet and feeling homesick. Then the earth explodes! My sister and I are then looking out the window into space where Earth used to be. Again with the million dollar question: what do we do now? After all, we can't go home, and we don't know of any planet, moon, or asteroid that could support life. Eventually, we're going to run out of supplies ... and air.
Such pleasant dreams from my twisted mind! No wonder I haven't been sleeping well!
No comments:
Post a Comment